The Importance of Being Ernesto

[David W. Valentin]

Marty my buddy, my pal, called me a few weeks back and asked me to write a blog post. I've been threatening the world for quite awhile about starting one of these things and well...as I am the king of procrastination it has simply never materialized. So when Marty called and said,."Hey you should do this." I gave him a dose of the blah blah blahs. To which he responded by calling me on the shit the way only good friends can.
Hence we who are about to ponder and drivel salute you! (And blame Marty).
I guess an introduction is called for,.but you (my first insomnia tic reader) are smart enough to simply read above so let’s just jump into the good stuff which is jabber jawing about film or as I like to refer to as laying in the wet spot.
Every day I count myself as one of the luckiest guys on the planet. And that's because I am exactly what I wanted to be as a kid. A childhood spent building elaborate cities in the mud in my back yard which would eventually be burned to a crisp by solar flares (my sister's aqua net hairspray and a lighter) only to have the inhabitants be save by a flood sent from above (a bucket of water dumped at the prophesied time) gave way to me diving head first into visual effects a long time ago in a galaxy not so far away. .
But that was awhile ago, now I'm an indie producer and film maker. I like the title. Never mind that I loathe the question when posed to me at parties by eye lidless peeps who's minds click with more agenda than interest. When I am in fact presented with that question I actually like saying "I'm a producer." It's like warm wind on the beach at night. I like how it feels, smells, and tastes. I like who and what I am and think it's a damn shame that we don't live in a world where everyone can be astronauts, firemen, baseball players or rock stars. But it's important to know what you want. Even if you don't know what it’s going to take to get it...and let's face it...most of us rarely do. You gotta know what makes you happy, what you actually like DOING that brings about that fleeting sense of satisfaction.
Case in point...a few years ago I was working at a start-up and I made it a point to go out and get young CG artists who had the raw talent but not the portfolio to get into the big houses. Now in order to keep the lights on we had to take some commercial work that was more about brand and message rather than artistry. The tech I had promised the client was failing left and right and as such one artist in particular was having to go back and almost constantly change his animation. We were sitting at his desk in the middle of the night and I was watching him tweak the anim. (Yes...I know ALL Animators LOVE it when the producer sits with them and watch them work.). I will call him Ernesto and as we were working....Ernesto sighed.
And the echo of Ernesto's sigh reverberated in my brain near the end of last year posing for my corporate headshot, and having people who were suppose to be my NBFF's (Ummmmm…) telling me that I should shave, and not to wear my lucky leather cuff to meetings. And I heard Ernesto's sigh when I was told that the client doesn't care if it looks good...they want a more "reality" feel. And I sat in my pad thinkin'....if people don't want their "videos" (not films?) to be beautiful, and engaging, if they don't care that the story is told on 10 levels, they just want one obvious loud and trite one...what the hell am I gonna do?" And as I sat in the delivery meeting watching the client love, love, love, the reality based job I was delivering my P.A. asked if I was ok...I mumbled..."THIS is why there aren't more astronauts in the world."
Oh how Ernesto sighed.
"What's wrong Ernie?" I asked him in the middle of the night, ten hours before delivery. "Well Dave," he said...looking down...eye contact with Ernie was always fleeting...."I don't want to seem ungrateful or anything...I'm really grateful for the chance you're giving me..." .....
"But" I interrupted him. Otherwise we'd be here all night and not get anything done.
"It's just when I was going to school, and wanting to go to school and everything...this isn't what I thought I would be doing. "
And the Production Assistant, and the Production Coordinator and the Production Manager in me screamed in my head "Grow up. This is the real world. It's not all lollipops and rainbows. Have a crisis after the deadline." But the PRODUCER in me won out and opened his mouth. "Ernie...I know. And I'm sorry. This job sucks, and it's going to continue to suck. There's nothing good about this one. And I know this kind of work isn't what you live for it's just how we're making a living. But when we're done lets you and I go out, we'll get drunk and we'll figure out what we can do differently."
I lost touch with Ernie after the start up closed down. Last I heard he was toiling away in some basement somewhere doing stop motion anim feature. (Click Click. Click Click.) But from what I understand he's a happy guy.
As of now...well...I still haven't shaved, my lucky leather cuff is still on my wrist and I am making some of the most beautifully rendered, highly stylized images I ever have. Reality has nothing to do with it.

[David W. Valentin]

Hello Folks,
Thanx everyone for commenting on my first blog ever. Please read below for comments on your comments.

Heath: You know....I felt like you do about edit sessions for years. Editing is about the limitless choices you have to put the work together. Some choices are good, some suck out loud. What makes my edit session enjoyable now is seeing the completeness of vision realized. And that's made better by knowing what I want from the get go. Storyboards are essential before first call. Hold tight to 'em like a woobie and they'll make it all better. Thanx for the feed back bro.

Frank: Well compadre I knew you were a fellow producer before even looking up your profile. (grin) Actually I think you totally felt the pain. You and I have both sat with artists who have immense talent but aren't going to be able to weather the road to what the rest of the world would call success. It was only after talking with Ernie that I realized his idea of success didn't include having a studio shingle or having the adoration of the world. He wanted to find the love of a good woman, have a nice house and be able to make a living making his art. He's done all three and to me that's a success. As a fellow producer you know that our force of will routinely surpasses those around us. It has to. The moral of my tale here is that it's important to take a step back and really listen to folks around you and make sure you're not forcing them down a road that they don't want to be on. Thanks again for your comments. Really insightful.

Keby: Dahlin...My love..sweetie. "Not as good as me?" Hubris hon. Look it up.

Paul: Thank you. You're a testament to the importance of keeping a sense of wonder within you while being surrounded sayers of nay. Seriously...you're an inspiration.

[Heath Santi]

Nice post. Filmmaking is fun, editting sucks. Its like building a house; lots of sweat a little blood, but wen you are done and look back at it. It feels good. Maybe someday I will put a roof on one of mine. Thanks

[Frank Casanova]

I didn't exactly feel your pain... Actually I laughed my ass off! Oh the naivete of Ernesto! It's a friggin' BUSINESS Ernesto. These people that come out of trade schools have their heads filled with fantasies of how they think they'll earn a living while playing. Only a veritable handful of people ever get to do that...and they're usually not in Northern California. At best, you'll have a job you may be able to tolerate...and then do your movie-making on your off hours. But make a living at it? Probably not here. There is no "film business" here.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you don't have a chance to make it so. Yes you do. But no one is going to "hire" you here on the way to that. You'll have to figure out how to do that one yourself. And that's too bad. We really don't have any organization here that speaks to the business of Indy Moviemakeing...really too bad.

[Keby Boyer]

Hey D -
I hear your pain. Actually, I feel your pain, every day when I head off for work. Great job, but I'd rather be making movies--as would everyone else around here. There is nothing like it. School's about to start, and I can hardly wait--filmmaking II and advanced editing. Whoever thought I'd be excited about school? But, I get to make another film--2 as a matter of fact. I feel like I've been given manna from heaven.

The moment you described will forever become the Ernesto moment--when you know you have to do what you gotta do to do what you love to do. Ernie!!--that's the battle cry. Okay, life, here's your Ernie moment, but like the real Ernie sitting in his basement making his film, there's the great stuff at the end of the day. As Paul said, with all the distribution options and cameras, and editing on your home computer, the world is like one big playground--time to play. And I agree with Marty--we should see more of this from you. You're actually good. Not as good as me...but close. ;)

[Martin Anaya]

Hey Man,
I feel ya brother. Every day I get up and got to do a million crap jobs before I get to do something beautiful. ya know, gotta pay the bills, get on the phone with accountants, the IRS, the state, take that new worker the county sent over, sell an ad, fix an ad...bla, bla, bla...but then ocassionally all this stuff comes together and helps us make art. We end up doing something wonderful. Then I feel great! Then I remember what it was that brought me to this place and I feel just like an astronaut, like Neil Freeggin Armstrong!

So keep doin what you do and tryin to love the crap that comes with it because relatively speaking, you're more astronaut than ditch digger and that aint too bad! (No disrespect to any ditch diggers who may be reading this. You know I love you!

BTW- Your welcome. Let's see more of this out of you!

[Paul Wood]

Excellent points and I love the overall message that I got from it...this is the time to grab those dreams by the balls and make that your reality. Crank out the films, and don't listen to the torrent of excuses by anyone else. Having been doing this for way many years (I remember the KEM flatbeds!) right now with all of the distribution opportunities and options and low-cost alternatives to equipment and shooting/post processes, everything is at our fingertips. Time to play.